


The Big Bang

by Jess_Love



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alec and Magnus fix each other, Alec is the youngest sibling, Angst with a Happy Ending, BAMF Alec Lightwood, BAMF Magnus Bane, Blue eyed Matthew daddario, Domestic Violence, Embedded Images, Fluff and Smut, Getting to Know Each Other, Hurt Alec Lightwood, I'll add tags as I rememeber too, Insecure Alec Lightwood, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Poetry, Protective Alec, Protective Magnus Bane, Smut, Suicidal Thoughts, Well meaning but stupid and annoying Jace, and Green eyed Godfrey Gao, at first, bad sibling Isabelle Lightwood, fast paced relationship~, fight me
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-23
Updated: 2019-12-28
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:07:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 19,991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21528802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jess_Love/pseuds/Jess_Love
Summary: Alec had struggled for years in a mentally and physically abusive relationship with his ex Sebastian Morgenstern when he finally decided to break it off. He finds out quickly that it isn't over just yet as Alec now has to deal with being isolated and ignored by his friends and family who believe that Seb was the real victim.Stuck in an on and off relationship, Alec finds himself depending on a man he doesn't even remember meeting. Magnus Bane. Magnus Bane who's always looking for a hug. Magnus Bane who's always so sweet and understanding.Magnus Bane who has his own wounds that have yet to even scab let alone heal.This story follows the journey of two characters building each other up to help each other stand taller in the face of their fears.
Relationships: Magnus Bane & Alec Lightwood, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Comments: 46
Kudos: 220





	1. The Break

**Author's Note:**

> H-Hey there... Totally not starting another story that totally won't be accidentally forgotten about. TBH I'm not really sure when I'll ever finish my other stories, I've just grown so unattached to them that I'd just have to revamp everything BUT BESIDES THAT, hi. welcome. Please don't run away. Everything ends happily and beautiful and I promise they'll dance in the rain and eat flowers :)
> 
> I suck at proofreading, so sorry for any mistakes. Let me know if it's anything major and I'll change it right away. If I meant to right home and wrote hoe, then let the shame mask me for all eternity, going back to my hoe is what i want to be remembered for. Thanks~

Alec, Clary- 24

Magnus, Raphael, Cat- 32

Ragnor- 34

Izzy, seb, Jace- 26

Simon- 25

  
  


**CHAPTER 1**

  
  


Alec stared at the door with an empty look on his face. 

“I did it.” Alec gasped. He stumbled backward into the wall and slid to the floor. His chest felt heavy as 8  _ miserable _ fucking years flashed before his eyes. Was this regret or relief? Both R words with 2 different meanings, yet he couldn't tell the difference. Alec brought his hand up to his mouth to muffle a sob before bursting into tears as the cold metal of his engagement ring touched his heated face. 

His fourth finger burned as hot as his cheeks and Alec quickly tugged off the ring. He went to throw it but settled for simply sitting it besides him on the floor. Alec wiped his eyes and smiled.

“I did it.” He quietly cheered. 

  
  


It felt like he was losing his mind as he laughed while he cried. his heart felt like it was seconds away from stopping or exploding. He barely avoided throwing up from the nerves, the joy, and the fear.

  
  
  


~

It had been a week and everyone seemed to be keeping their distance, including his siblings. Alec wasn’t sure exactly what reaction he’d been expecting from everyone. Sebastian had been apart of his life for the last 10 to 12 years. They had always shared the same friends and their families had been extremely close. Not a holiday had ever gone by without a grand meal between the Lightwoods and the Morgensterns. 

Even knowing all this, it cut Alec deep to to see the disappointment on his sister’s face every time Sebastian walked out of a room that Alec was in, just in order to avoid him. He got that Seb was practically blood to everyone, but no one seemed to care about Alec’s side of the story. They all blindly followed Sebastian’s warped perspective of their relationship and _his_ reason as to why Alec called off the wedding. Clary, who Alec had thought he was pretty close with because of their similar tastes in movies, now flat-out even refused to talk to him. Instead the redhead would opt to glare at Alec with enough heat to burn him and whisper snarky remarks. 

Jace, who had been married to Clary for close to 3 years now had been Alec's best friend since the second he’d been adopted into the family. Jace had taught Alec everything he knew, whether or not it was age appropriate or even appropriate at all. He’d always been Alec’s protector, keeping kids from bullying him while he was in school and bought him ice cream when he cried. Now Jace kept his distance and that hurt more than hostility. 

Alec became an outsider in his own supposed family. The people who were meant to love him most had abandoned him. Even  _ Simon _ was quiet around him. To drive the knife even deeper, a quick look at their social media revealed that not only had they basically cut him out of their lives, but Sebastian was still very much active with them. They spent so much time trying to cheer Sebastian up but why couldn’t they see that he didn’t need it! Why did he get to live the life he’s always had but Alec had to befriend the silence in his apartment? How was this fair? 

Why did everyone make it out to seem as if it was somehow his fault this had all happened to him… No, maybe if he’d just kept his mouth shut… If he hadn’t broke it off with Sebastian, he would have been right there in the middle of his friends, goofy smile plastered on his face. Maybe he should have thought over his choice before he made it, but somehow, Alec couldn’t find it in him to regret his decision. Only that he’d done it so sloppily. 

~

“Alec, I was wondering if maybe… you know, you and Seb could try and work things out??” Alec felt heart stutter as his sister’s words repeated in his mind. 

“W-What?” He gasped. This was their first meet up since Alec had ended his relationship with Sebastian a month ago. He’d gotten used to being ignored by his friends so it was surreal to even talk to her in that moment. 

When Isabelle texted him earlier that morning, it had come as quite a shock. He could count how many texts he had gotten from her in the past month on his left hand. She had asked him out to a cafe they had gone to quite frequently while in college because of the cheap drinks and bagels. The conversation had started off like it would’ve before all of this and Alec found himself cracking his first smile in months and damn did it feel good. That is until she’d throw him a curve ball.

“I mean, you know… it’s been a month. Have you ironed out your problems with him yet? I mean, I’m sure you’re not angry anymore, right?” She continued, taking a bite out of her bagel. 

“What? Why would you- Our problems can’t just be fixed, Izzy.” Alec replied in disbelief. 

“Look, hear me out. Sebastian has been an absolute mess without you. I can tell you aren’t happy either. I’ve been talking to the others and we thought it’d be a good idea to try and restart your relationship, hm? Whatever it is, you have all of us to be able to help you work through it. We want you two happy again.” She smiled, reaching over the table to hold her brother’s hand but Alec yanked it back. He couldn’t believe his ears.

“No Izzy. I can’t. Do you know how hard it was to leave him in the first place? And you want me to just jump back in there with him? Do you understand just how much he’s damaged me?” Alec asked incredulously, voice cracking towards the end. His eyes narrowed and his fingers closed into a fist. They’d agreed to keep the violence away from their family, but seriously? 

“Alec I-“

“No, of course, you don’t, because you’ve all been ignoring me.” Alec sat back in his seat and shook his head. 

“We haven’t been ignoring you, Alec.” She sighed, “We’ve been trying to get you to realize that this is a huge mistake.”

“And what? Making me feel… making me understand that I’m nothing to the rest of you was supposed to teach me a lesson? Do I not have the right to cut off people who are toxic to me?” Alec asked, getting increasingly agitated as the conversation dragged on.

“We aren’t kids anymore, Alec! You can’t just follow us around like a lost puppy and expect that to be ok. Sebastian is someone for you to hang onto besides us.” She sighed, putting a hand to her forehead. 

“Wanting to spend time with my family is clingy? Wanting to go out for dinner and catch up on our lives makes me no better than some bitch on the street? And instead of telling me you guys want space, I get to be ignored and treated like dirt on the bottom of your heels, while you guys take my ex to clubs and order him strippers? No, it’s fine I get it.”

“You didn’t see him, Alec! You don’t know what it was like to see him so broken and helpless. You didn’t see how he cried, Alec he was heartbroken over you.”

“And I wasn’t? He didn’t break me? Do you think it was easy? Do you think any of this is easy? Why do you think you can butt in, anyways? I don’t need you telling me what to do when you weren’t there when he-!” Alec all but yelled at her, standing up out of his seat. A few people had already started to look over at their table before, but after Alec’s outburst, the entire cafe was staring. his sister stared straight ahead, refusing to look him in the eye. Alec was on the verge of a meltdown and he knew it. 

“...Fuck Izzy… you guys are supposed to be my family. Y-You’re supposed to be my big sister.” 

He sped out of the store and booked it down the street. Alec had never been so mortified in his life. His face burning hot and tears were threatening to fall down his face. He already knew Izzy was probably telling everyone about his little freakout, but he couldn’t stay there anymore, he didn’t care if the story was strewn anymore than it already was. No matter what he did the result would be the same. He would still be the one getting hurt.

~

Alec didn’t leave his house for 3 days, instead he opted to have his work sent to his house. He knew he couldn’t face them again, not when just the sound of their names robbed him of the breath in his Lungs. He was intimidated. How could they think it was all his fault? Why was he the one to get kicked out of the group when he was the victim. Maybe bloody and bruised was better than exonerated and alone. No one likes to be the bad guy, but it's even worse when the ones you look up to, look down at you as if you were nothing but a bug.

~

On the 4th day home alone, he cracked. Maybe they should try again? Alec texted Sebastian asking if they could meet up. Each letter shot spikes up his spine as his fingers struggled to write out the message, shaking uncontrollably. After he sent the text, Alec looked down to see his nails bitten down past the flesh, rugged and wet. He wiped his hands against his pants as he clicked his screen off and set the phone on the floor, waiting for it to light back up again. This was what they wanted though, a desperate dog crawling back to their owner, right? Alec never was the strong one, was he?

~

This was what he was afraid of. He cried over the toilet seat as he emptied his stomach. Alec knew that something was wrong with his plate but he hadn’t figured it out until he was done. Why wasn’t he stronger? Why couldn’t he stand up for himself, why couldn’t he even say no? 

Why couldn’t he look up at the man who poisoned him?

“That’ll teach you to leave me.”

~

Alec stayed huddled by the door, arms wrapped tightly around himself as he quietly shook. His stomach still felt off but Sebastian said it was nothing to worry about. 

Sebastian who was 3 feet away, looking at him with mixed emotions.

Alec couldn’t remember why he’d ran to the door instead of his room. Both he and Sebastian had assumed Alec was on his way to run for help, but his legs failed him as he crashed and slid down the door. It wouldn’t be anything at all to just turn the lock and knob and leave. He was so close.

But maybe he was only trying to keep Sebastian in, after-all, his family didn’t know about them yet.

Alec heard shuffling and involuntarily whimpered as it came close. Rough hands carded through his messy hair as silent tears leaked out of his eyes. 

“Get up love. You just need to sleep it off. I promise I won’t do anything like this again, you just made me get so angry.”

Alec heard and felt nothing as he was pulled up off the ground. His stomach lurched as he moved. There was a sudden feeling of just being cold that Alec instantly rejected, far too cold already from the traumatic hellish feast he thought would mark a new beginning. 

And it did.

Just not the type he’d been expecting or desired.

~

He felt sick as arms wrapped around his neck, though for a different reason than they had the day before. His head felt like it was pounding as Sebastian laughed loudly right next to his ears. This was what Alec wanted right? His friends were talking to him again. Clary looked like she didn’t want to stab him anymore and Jace was back to being his best friend. Isabelle looked relatively pleased with herself as she sat on Simon’s lap. They all looked so happy to have him back. Maybe this was the right thing to do. If they were happy, he should be too.

With that final thought, Alec smiled to fit in with the little crew, ignoring the fact that he was the only one wearing a scarf in the middle of the summer. Ignoring how weak he was, and just how much his throat hurt.

~

This was the 4th time they’d broken up within the span of a year. Maybe they should just give up?

Whether or not they were together, it was no way of properly living for Alec. Someone was always yelling at him and telling him what to do, whether it was Sebastian, Clary, or Izzy...

Maybe they’d be better off without him? Why did he stress them out so much? And either way they didn’t seem to miss him whenever they went out with Sebastian. Maybe Alec had never been a main character in their book to begin with. Maybe he had been the dummy all along to think that he was needed; he had never been important to any of them.

Maybe he should just give up trying to be.

Alec looked down at the post it note in his hand and let the tip of his pen hesitantly touch the paper. There was always some hesitation as his feelings became real, as his mind materialized and manifested into a monster disguised by his neat and ordinary handwriting. 

Usually his thought came out as rants, angry and fast, with indents in the paper hard enough to almost rip through. Today was different though, as he turned the note diagonally. He held the pen further up and took a breathe.

  
  
  
  
  


_ ‘To my tomb I walked every night. _

_ Light flashed through glass in the evening, _

_ lights I would have killed myself had I been on the inside.  _

_ Lights that strike me with fear when they glow _

_ and I am on the opposite side.  _

_ My tomb is a makeshift jail, that it is until I'm sentenced.  _

_ Then it will be emptied and I will be alone. _

_ and I will be at peace.' _

Alec stared at the note for what felt like hours. Did he want to die? No, there was so much more out there for him, right? Yet his heart had poured out something that ripped at his flesh and his senses. It made his stomach turn to think of one day not waking up, to not be able to try again to start a conversation. To never get the chance again to love, be loved. To laugh and hug. 

He allowed himself one last minute before crumpling up the note and shoving it into his little box. 

It was an old box, small and red with most of the paint chipping. His first ever bullseye hitting arrow tip sat cushioned under several carefully folded pink, blue, and yellow stickies, all of which made the crumpled new addition look like a puss filled bullseye in the middle of someone's forehead. Alec shut the lid closed and clipped the latchet shut. It would never lock again after Sebastian kicked it weeks ago, but his thoughts would be safely tucked away under the mattress where Sebastian would never care to read them.


	2. The First Falling Star

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've started to rewrite my Sky fall story cause I've somehow managed to pique my own interest haha. I'll let you know when to expect a new chapter though.
> 
> Couldn't write some poetry sooooo I added pictures >:O   
> let me know if it looks weird on your device, I've never done something like this so I might have to mess around with the settings more. Pictures just look so cool tho :')
> 
> Sorry for any mistakes.

**CHAPTER 2**

  
  
  


Alec woke up in a room he didn’t recognize next to someone he didn’t remember meeting. The man beside him smiled as he saw Alec wake up. His arms was slung around Alec’s waist and he all but purred when Alec pushed back against him in his confusion. 

“I thought you would’ve been gone by now.” The man teased, trailing a hand up Alec’s chest. 

Alec was mortified. Nothing was worse than overstaying your welcome. He quickly sat up and tried to leave, apologies stumbling out of his mouth as his eyes frantically looked around for his clothes. A hand quickly reached out and grabbed him, yanking him back onto the bed. Alec stiffened as a body climbed on top of him and a pair of green stars stared down at him.

“I wasn’t complaining.” He laughed, “Stay?”

Alec gulped and nodded, face red as a tomato. 

“O-Ok…” 

He didn’t have anywhere else to be anyways.

~

Alec was sitting on a park bench, sketching all the trees and birds he saw into his book. He’d been here more times than he could count over the past year as a sort of therapy. It was like the aura of the green grass and healthy trees were pure and uplifting enough to keep his dark thoughts away. They didn’t belong in a place so clean and refreshing.

Art seemed to be a major escape for him these days Alec often found himself getting lost in the blank pages of his book, drawing whatever came to mind. 

Usually he would’ve been posting it all for his friends to see but he deleted his last instagram account. The frustrations from seeing his so called friends online was just too much for him to handle. It was annoying watching them post about the things they were doing and the foods they were eating, knowing that that was the closest he’d be getting to them until things smoothed out between him and Sebastian again. 

Alec wasn’t even sure what had happened this time. It was like they’d broken up just to break up. All Alec had done was complain about a bill, one that he didn’t really care about to begin with, and Sebastian walked out. It wasn’t even a fight, yet Sebastian said Alec was stressing him out.

After deleting his old account, Alec decided to create a new instagram to use as a platform to share his art and things he found to be funny. He posted every page and every doodle, for when he wanted to look back at his improvement. His account grew quickly and he found himself smiling looking at the support it got.

It was less taxing on him to be able to post whatever he wanted rather than the selfies he was expected to post because he was… cute. 

Ew. 

But the happiness he got from seeing his likes go up didn’t translate into his real life. He didn’t know any of those people, whether or not he got 2 or 200 likes meant nothing to him after the 5 seconds he took to enjoy it. They didn’t like him, they liked what he posted. And that was the difference that meant the world to him.

“Hey, stranger.” A silky voice whispered in his ear. Alec jumped in his seat as he leaned to the side and turned his head to look behind him. It was him again. The man with the shiny shoes and shirts.

“Oh hi, um…” Alec trailed off, what was his name again? How could he have forgotten a name so unlike any he’s heard before. It was a name that sounded like it came right out of a comic book. What was it, what was it, what-

“Magnus Bane.” The man chuckled. He went around the bench and sat down beside the shorter man. Alec moved over to give Magnus a little more room, trying not to stare, but the other man sat as close possible anyways.

“Fancy running into you here.” Magnus purred, turning his body fully to face Alec. 

He was dressed in white joggers with intricate gold lining designs up and down the legs. His sneakers were bulky and multicolored, a tag of a designer store branded on it's side. It was still summer, but the weather was changing. Magnus covered up his pale purple tank top with a small and thin white sweater. His lids were rimmed black with liner and his lips had a shine to them from gloss.

“Y-Yeah.” Alec nodded, pushing his hair out of his face. He wanted to properly look Magnus in his eyes, but his low self esteem coupled with Magnus’ intense gaze made it practically impossible. Alec didn’t think he’d ever been around someone who laid it on so thick.

“Do you come here often? If so I think I’ll be taking route more often.” Magnus joked. 

Alec blushed.

“Uh yeah, I um, come here a lot.” He stammered. “It’s um, relaxing.” 

Magnus smiled and looked down to see what Alec was holding in his hands. 

“Oh wow, that’s really good!” Magnus gaped, leaning in close to the other man. Alec froze up, Magnus was so close that he could smell his cologne. The man peered up at him through his lashes and hummed his appreciation.

“You’re a really great artist.” Magnus complimented. Alec felt his apple bob in his throat as he nodded. Magnus leaned back. An artist? Alec wouldn’t really go that far as to call himself an artist. He just drew on his his spare time, that didn’t mean anything he did was special or that he was. 

“Do you draw people?” He asked. Alec shrugged a non verbal response. He’d tried before but that didn’t mean that he was any good at it.

“Then can I commission you to draw me?” Magnus asked with a wide grin on his face. Alec stared at the man’s teeth for more time than probably acceptable before looking down at his sketchbook. He probably brushed thrice a day.

“...I’m not that great at drawing people, I don’t want to make you look… you know, weird.” 

What would Alec say if Magnus came out with lopsided eyebrows and too big of a nose? Nothing, he’d probably have to skip town and change his name to like… Edward.

“Please.” Magnus asked, batting his eyelashes and bumping Alec’s shoulder lightly with his own. Alec bit his lip and let out a shaky breath. What was this?

“Ok… but don’t be surprised when it doesn’t look good.” 

~

The first time Alec visits Magnus’ apartment, he notices a very familiar sketch hanging up on the wall in a frame far too big for it.

~

It was a relatively slow day and Alec found himself a bit of free time while on the clock. He pulled out his phone and quickly unlocked it with his thumb. Magnus was probably working so Alec didn’t think to bother him. Instead he went on instagram and scrolled through until he let out a soft chuckle. He took a screenshot and reposted the meme, not caring how taboo it was to steal. When Magnus wasn’t busy maybe he’d see it and laugh too.

  
  
  


Magnus felt his phone buzz in his pocket and sighed as he took it out. If it was another meeting he was sure he was going to have to throw his phone out the window. When Magnus saw it was tagged post by Alec, the tension promptly left his eyebrows and he smiled as he opened up the app. Magnus laughed out loud into the empty office and quickly left a comment, smiling from ear to ear. 

Alec smiled as he watched his likes go up and read the comments he had. Regardless of whether or not he knew these people, the validation he felt made him feel euphoric. His eyes fell on Magnus’ username and Alec felt his jaw drop. He switched over to Imessage and sent emoji after emoji to his… friend?

  
  


Alec smiled as Magnus promised to make it up to him knowing exactly what that entailed. He wasn’t actually upset, Alec knew Magnus was busy person from the start. He could handle waiting a few more hours to see him. Alec sent Magnus a heart before pocketing his phone. Back to work. The sooner he was done, the sooner he could go see him.

  
  


~

Alec felt sick as Sebastian nibbled on his ear. Did this count as cheating? Sure he wasn’t dating Magnus or anything… maybe? But they’d just had a dinner date two days before. 

They’d never put any labels to what they were, but even if it wasn’t cheating when it came to Magnus, Alec felt like he was cheating himself. The feelings he had for Magnus were warm and growing. Alec could only really see it as being unfaithful to his heart at this point. It felt weird, holed up in some hotel with someone he swore he would never see again.

Alec turned his head when Sebastian went to kiss him on the lips and the other man scowled. 

“We ate the same shit, stop being such a baby.”

“I just don’t want to kiss you, ok? Can we get this over with? I’m tired.” 

Sebastian rolled his eyes and stepped back, gesturing for Alec to get on the bed. 

“Why are you acting like this is a chore?” Sebastian asked while he pulled the sweater up over Alec’s head. 

“If I say I’m not in the mood for this will you stop?” Alec asked.

“Obviously? I’m not a rapist. What’s up with you?” Sebastian asked, tilting his head. He crouched down and folded his arms on top of Alec’s lap on the bed.

“Talk to me? I might be able to help? Is Clary bothering you again?”

Alec shook his head. “No... I’ve just been feeling burnt out from work I guess.” Alec shrugged and cupped Sebastian’s face in his hands. He was definitely handsome and Alec could never take that away from him. Alec had always been obsessed with his nose. He squeezed Sebastian's bridge and the other man flared his nostrils. 

It was such a familiar interaction that Alec felt his heart thud against his chest. Why was he so taken by this man? Magnus had what he wanted, stability and compassion. Magnus had what he needed, love and understanding. But why was it that just a look from Sebastian’s doll like black eyes and Alec was back where he started. 

“...You know I love you, right?” Sebastian asked, “I know I fuck up royally. I know I make your life hard. It hurts me when I hurt you. I hate it when your in pain and it’s my fault. I’m trying to change, ok? I’m in management classes… Don’t give up on me, please.”

Alec smiled. 

“Ok.” He lied. He’d given up a long time ago on the both of them. They both had to be horrible people in order to be trapped like this. Maybe that’s why he didn’t deserve Magnus.

And even though he wasn’t in the mood, he let Sebastian have him. It was excessively rough as it always is and Alec is sure he’ll be bruised in the morning.

But he promised to change.

~

Alec was alone again. He sat down on the floor of the apartment, downing a bottle of whiskey. He hadn’t even looked at the bottle, he didn’t care for the brand, only cared about how mad Sebastian would be when realized it was gone. It was disgusting and it hurt his throat to swallow, but maybe he’d feel better once it was over. 

He hadn’t talked to Magnus in over a week out of guilt. Alec didn’t post anything either knowing that Magnus would see when he was on and avoiding him. He’d shut himself in again and this time there was no way out. Alec had fucked everything up. 

He wiped his eyes with the back of his sleeve and coughed after taking another swig from the bottle. Magnus’ cocktails were way better than this. He was so stupid. 

“I’m so stupid. So. Fucking. Stupid.”

He heard a knock at his door and rolled his eyes. If Sebastian wanted to come back, he'd have to use his key. Alec was _never_ going to talk to him again. Ever.

The knock came again, more insistent as Alec crossed his arms. 

“Go Away!” He yelled and the knocking stopped. It was quiet again. Maybe he should’ve let the knocking going on, it was better than the silence…

The doorknob turned and a head popped inside. Alec felt his heart drop into his stomach as Magnus slowly walked into his apartment, a clouded expression on his face.

“...Are you ok?”

“...What are you doing here?” Alec asked, hiding the bottle under his sweater. 

“I came to give your stuff back? I thought what I said to you last time- I thought you didn’t want to see me again.” 

Alec let his head fall and squeaked, trying not to let out the ugly sound threatening to come out. It came out anyways as Magnus dropped in front of him and put a hand on his back. Alec couldn’t help but snort a cry as he compared his noise to that of a strangling cat.

“I would’ve been married yesterday.” Alec started. Magnus visibly froze and Alec looked up at him. 

“He was best friends with my brother but he was cute so I had a crush on him anyways. We started d-dating when I was in 9th grade and he was in 11th. I got along with his sister and he got along with mine so we all just became one big happy family. H-He proposed to me 2 years ago.”

“...You were dating someone this whole time?” Magnus quietly asked. He was trying so hard not to get upset because Alec was already going through it but...

“No.” Alec cried. “I broke it off in December b-because he-” Alec covered his face.

“He hit me again. He hit me harder than he had before. I couldn’t even see straight or walk- Magnus I- I had to! He was going to _kill_ me. He wanted to I know it. I couldn’t think- I swung at him and told him to get out. I told him we were over a-and he left.” 

Magnus cursed, wrapping his arms around Alec and pulling the shorter man into his lap. 

“He left and he took my family with him. They won’t talk to me unless I’m with him- they all hate me unless he’s fucking me. We were breaking up and getting back together every other month...” Alec would probably apologize for Magnus’ shirt later. He wouldn’t offer to buy him a new one though, Alec had learned early on how expensive even the socks were in Magnus’ closet. 

“W-when I met you- Actually I don’t even remember that night. But you made me feel so good.” Alec sniffled.

“Then what’s the problem, love?” Magnus asked, stroking Alec’s hair. He was planning on just dropping Alec’s stuff off and being on his way as fast as humanly possible. Magnus had spent the last week trying the dead the feelings he had. He was used to these sort of… flings. Alec was more innocent than the others so Magnus hadn’t assumed that he would blow him off after last week.

“When you asked me if I wanted to go steady with you, by the angel I was so happy Magnus. I wanted nothing more than to get to call you my b-boyfriend- but my sister called me. She said Sebastian was sorry and wanted to talk to me. He went through her because I blocked him on everything. He said he was taking classes for his temper… He said he was going to change for me. I should’ve said no because I had you now… but I missed my brother- All I ever really wanted was for things to go back to normal.

“I met up with him… we fell into it again… He tried to propose to me again and I said no. This morning I woke up to water being poured on me because he found our texts on my phone. I forced him out again but… I don’t know what to do anymore because now he knows.” 

“...Alexander…”

“I didn’t know what to do so I just took his whiskey-!” Alec pulled the tall bottle out from under his sweater and went to drink from it when Magnus snatched it out of his hands.

“... Alexander love, this is a bottle of welch’s fruit cocktail. It doesn’t even have a percent.” Magnus tried to hide a chuckle but failed. “At least it's sparkling?”

Alec groaned, shoving his face further into Magnus’ chest. 

“I can’t even get drunk right… and it tastes like shit.” 

“...let’s clean you up so we can talk ok?”

~

They sat legs crossed in front of each other, holding hands in front of the fridge. Magnus said that the buzzing from the fridge was going to relax them, something for them to focus on. 

Alec rubbed his thumbs on Magnus’ gold and pink polish as he bit his bottom lip. What was he supposed to say? At least when he thought he was drunk he could pour out his feelings without having to take the blame the next morning.

“I love you. I’m going to start there. It might be a little fast- no it's definitely speeding, but I feel as though… I just have this strong attachment to you. You have this thing about you that just drives me crazy. You might not remember when we met, but I do. You surprised me more in 2 hours than I had ever been in what? 2 years? I really liked you a lot… but I was ready to let go if you didn’t want me.”

Alec felt his jaw drop and he stuttered to reply.

“I-I don’t know if what I feel for you is love… but it’s on it's way. You make me feel so safe and fuzzy inside…” Alec felt his face turn hot as Magnus squeezed his fingers.

“...I’ve never been physically abused,” Magnus started, “But I have been verbally and emotionally abused. My longest relationship was with a woman named Camille. She was very beautiful and even more charming. We started off great, i fell fast and she took advantage of that. She told me that my makeup made me look like a clown. I wasn’t allowed anything besides eyeliner except on the weekends. 

“Before I would’ve told her to fuck off and shove it… but I wanted her to like me back. I wanted her to keep me around because she always looked so close to leaving me behind. I changed what I wore, what I liked, who I hung out with… I lived with her but I wasn’t allowed to touch anything unless she told me I could. She said I was dirtying her apartment. She would have me wear these thick gloves all the time… I would have to stand and eat instead of sitting down... but I never complained. 

“I don’t mean to make myself sound so mysterious, but I have a lot of baggage from my past that I can’t really get into right now... Not yet. She knew and used it against me every chance she had. She made me feel so worthless and drained that I stopped bothering with anything else. I didn’t leave the apartment for anything unless she asked me. My friends had to take over my business for me… She made me think that no one besides her would ever want me. And then she cheated on me and told me that she didn’t want me either.”

“Magnus I-”

“I don’t know what you’re going through Alec. My relationship wasn’t tethered to my family like you because I didn’t have a family forcing me to stay with her. They all wanted me to leave actually, but I wouldn’t listen. Your family means a lot to you and I understand that. But please think of yourself as well? If he’s abusing you, you shouldn’t put up with it for a fat turkey leg on thanksgiving. They should understand that, right?”

“...I haven’t told them that he abuses me.” Alec confessed, averting his eyes. Magnus sighed and looked at the ceiling for a second before tugging on Alec’s hand to get him look forward again. 

“Why?” Magnus asked simply.

“I don't want him to get in trouble? I don’t know, they all follow him so it would feel wrong if they all turned on him because of me.” Alec mumbled.

“What do you need?” Magnus asked after a moment of silence. Alec stared at him confused. 

“Food…?” He still hadn’t eaten breakfast yet and it was nearing time for dinner.

“I mean in a relationship.”

“Food.” 

“You’re adorable. Ok, so then I promise to keep the cabinets fully stocked with all the stuff you could possibly want to eat.” Magnus laughed, leaning over to peck Alec on the lips. Both of them shut their eyes and Magnus slowly smiled into the kiss.

“What do you need?” Alec asked, pulling away as he opened his eyes.

“I need reassurance.” 

“What does that mean?”

“... I don’t really know yet, but we can figure it out together; things that reassure me.”

“Ok?” Alec grinned, “I need patience. I’m not really the smartest so things don’t always come to me quickly.”

“Don’t put yourself down. You are smart, ok? If not knowing everything counts as being not smart, then I’m dumb too.” 

Alec arched and brow at him. “I said I wasn’t the smartest, that doesn’t mean I’m dumb.” 

Magnus’ eyes glittered as he laughed his apology. “Sorry sorry.”

“No offense taken?” Alec chuckled. 

“Ok. I need… to touch you a lot. That sounds weird but just like how we’re doing right now. I wanna hold hands, I wanna kiss you a lot. I really like cuddling.” Magnus gushed and Alec blushed, he wanted to pull away because this whole thing was giving him cavities. 

“You’re embarrassing me.” Alec whined, trying to hide his face.

“It’s only the two of us.” Magnus laughed, letting Alec slip away. It took Alec a second to stop smiling but when he did he grabbed Magnus’ hands again. 

“Ok. I want all of that too, but I might hone in on one part of you.”

“What?”

“I’m obsessed with Sebastian’s nose so I always just squeezed it whenever he got close enough… I have a growing obsession with your eyes-”

“Are you gonna try and squeeze them?” Magnus teased.

“No, but if I stare you in the eyes a lot, I promise it’s not aggressive.” Alec replied, “My cat used to scratch me if looked at him too long.” 

“Well I promise I won’t scratch you, but I might jump you. I have a thing for your eyes as well. Black and blue _is_ my favorite combination.” 

Alec smiled goofily and pulled on Magnus’ hands to bring him closer.

“Please don’t hurt me, though, Magnus. I really can’t handle it again. And you’re way bigger than me so I-”

“I would never, ever, physically hurt you. I might disappoint you sometimes, I’m not that great of a guy, but it will never be on purpose. And I have like an inch on you, my love.” 

“Well, I don’t care how great of a guy you think you are because right now you’re perfect me, ok?” 

“Ok.” Magnus smiled.

~

  
  
  
  


Even though Sebastian seems to be moving on with some other poor soul every time they break up, Alec isn’t allowed to. Alec can feel their eyes judging him whenever someone even walks up to him to ask for directions. 

A small part of Alec understands why they act like this. Sebastian and Clary are siblings so of course they would have each other’s backs and Jace is her husband so it's only natural that he would side with her. Simon had grown up with Clary and Isabelle considered Clary to be her best friend. 

What Clary said for someone reason reigned supreme and it annoyed Alec to no end. Why was she the main judge for HIS life and relationships.

Why wasn’t he someone’s first pick? Jace and Isabelle were literally his blood so how was he so easily tossed the side? He was the youngest, sure, but Clary only beat him by a couple months. Sebastian didn’t even have anything else to his personality besides charming. He wasn’t funny, he wasn’t a genius. He wasn’t even that good of a kisser.

Did they even know Sebastian put his milk before his cereal. Or maybe they’d learned to accept it like he did.

Jace was the only one who tried with Alec. Tried to break the ice and get things back to normal. His attempt to get everyone back on good terms was most likely the reason that he had invited Alec out to the bar with them. No one else seemed to want Alec there, but Jace was trying his best. The table had been full of life as Alec walked in but as soon as he sat down, everyone had gone silent. Fine, they could behave like children. Alec made a point to only greet Jace and then ordered himself a drink.

Simon had the sense to at least look ashamed. 

Alec could tell they were texting each other in some group chat that he wasn’t in. There were constant spurts of laughter coming from everyone but Jace who was the only one not on his phone. Jace kept staring at Alec with an odd expression on his face. He looked like he wanted to say something and Alec was internally begging him to. Jace smiled and his eyes brightened as he made up his mind. 

“So what’s up with you, Alec? Any new cases?”

Alec squeezed his fingers as he opened his mouth. 

“I’m doing pretty good, actually.. And my cases haven’t been anything too abnormal.” He replied before furrowing his brows. 

“Actually, I had one a couple days ago where a man was trying to break a family of endangered ducks out of their enclosure’' Alec said with a small smile. Jace dropped his shoulders as his eyes rolled back. 

“..Why?...Just why?”

“What’s up with you?” Alec asked, taking a sip of his drink. He suddenly realized just how much more confident he felt. He turned his body to face Jace while having his hand hold his head up on the table after anchoring his elbow. 

“Well…” Jace started.

~

Clary was holding Jace’s left hand even though she was sitting on his right side and Alec knew why. It was an attempt to keep him away even while his brother was shoulder to shoulder with him in the little booths. They had been talking between themselves the entire time and it was making Alec feel isolated. He was on his phone the whole time though, smiling as he went through the posts that he’d missed from Magnus. It probably startled them all when he laughed all by himself.

He didn’t _need them_ in order to enjoy himself while he was out. Sure he was alone at the moment, but Alec wasn’t lonely anymore. 

After a while though, it grew to be too much to handle, all the shifty looks. Alec got up and made his way to the bar to order another drink, he could try and get whatever it is Magnus always gets... Alec pulled out his phone as he waited to make himself look busy. He tried not to look back at the table, after all, if they didn’t want him around he wasn’t going to force it.

A strong pair of arms wrapped around his waist and Alec sighed, knowing who it was just by the smell of their cologne. Alec turned around in the man’s arms and looked up to meet their eyes. It was the same every time, with Alec losing his breath.

“Hi.” Alec smiled shyly. There was usually only a little bit of a height difference, but in his boots Magnus was towering over Alec. It made him feel so safe when he was surrounded and crowded in Magnus’ scent. It was something Alec never wanted to get used to.

“Hello to you too, darling. Fancy seeing you here. You still haven’t played me back on imessage. Afraid you’re going to lose?” Magnus asked, a small pout gracing his lips while a mischievous gleam played along in his green eyes. The warm overhead lights gleamed as they reflected as shines in his irises. Yes, Magnus was definitely in a playful mood.

“You cheated.” Alec replied frowning. He wrapped his arms around Magnus’ neck as the older man put his weight against him, leaning his face into his collarbone. 

“I never cheat! I’m just that good and you can’t admit it.” Magnus laughed, pressing his lips to Alec’s. 

“Are you here by yourself, or are you looking for someone? Cause I’d happily take that spot.” 

Alec let his fingers tug on the bottom of Magnus’ shirt. It felt like silk.

They weren’t exactly official yet. Alec knew Magnus wasn’t sleeping with anyone else, and he wasn’t either. Especially not Sebastian. But Alec had asked Magnus for a week to think about taking things further and surprisingly, Magnus had agreed. Alec knew that he wanted Magnus, that was certain, he just didn’t know whether or not he was moving too fast into another relationship. Alec didn’t want to move too quickly and end up in another mistake, although Magnus and mistake didn’t belong anywhere near each other in a sentence. 

“My brother invited me out…” Alec murmured, trailing off barely loud enough for Magnus to hear. Magnus turned and looked around.

“Where is he?” Magnus asked.

Alec sighed. Of course Magnus would want to meet them.

“the table with the blonde and the redhead.” Alec replied. 

Magnus caught the eyes of a woman at the table and raised a brow when she glared at him and pointed. Other members of the table turned to stare. The redhead sitting there dropped her jaw before pulling out her phone which rubbed Magnus the totally wrong way. 

“I don’t think they like me very much, darling?” Magnus chuckled, put off. 

“I don’t think they like me very much either.” Alec hummed, shifting on his legs as he leaned in to hug Magnus again which he accepted. Alec loved to have him close. Magnus squeezed him tight and went in for another kiss, this time deeper as he licked into Alec’s mouth and nibbled on his bottom lip. 

“Your drink sir.” 

Alec turned around, face red as he was caught and pulled away from Magnus to grab his drink. He wasn’t used to all this PDA just yet but for Magnus it seemed like a hobby, spending his time embarrassing his ‘boyfriend’ in the best way he knew how. 

“So what do you say to coming with me to my table, hm? My friends have been dying to meet you.” Magnus grinned. Alec bit his lip before accepting his offer. If his family didn’t want him, then Alec would do them a favor and get out of their hair. He’d text Jace later for ditching them.

Alec allowed Magnus to lead him to the other side of the dimly lit bar, the older man’s hand resting loosely on his hips. He dared a quick look back at his family. He didn’t care as much as he thought as he would when he saw the anger and confusion in their eyes.

“Are they staring? Should I grab your ass to assert my dominance?” Magnus joked.

“I don’t have much there, so maybe I should grab yours instead.”

“You have a nice handful for me to grasp, but by all means my cheeks are here for your for squeezing.” Magnus easily replied. 

Alec covered his face while he laughed but jumped when he was actually groped. 

“Oh my god, Magnus- stop!” 

~

Alec couldn’t breathe, tears were leaking down his face as he grabbed his stomach in laughter. How does someone manage to get banned from a whole country?

Magnus had been holding his hand for what felt like forever under the table while his friends, Catarina and Ragnor, told stories of their past adventures. Cat was a dark skinned woman somewhere in her 30s. Her hair was blue and she had a contagious laugh that Alec had fallen in love with after the first time he’d heard it. There was no way that Ragnor was old, but the way he presented himself made him feel decades ahead of them. Alec found himself connecting with Ragnor on a personal level. They had more in common than anyone would’ve thought with their love of art and literature. Magnus had been grinning ear to ear as he watched his boyfriend easily befriend what he considered his family. 

His friends meant the world to him and Magnus hadn’t come up with a plan if it had come to be that they had something against Alec. 

Their hands were hot and sweaty under the table and Alec really wanted to wipe his hands dry. At the same time, he never wanted to let go. 

He’d never laughed this hard in his life. Maybe one day He and Magnus could go on an adventure of their own. Streaking not allowed?

Ragnor was about to start telling Alec another story when someone walked up to their table. 

“And you know, there was this one time in Brazil when-”

“Alec, we’re leaving” 

Alec turned and looked up at his sister, his smile slowly slipping off his face. Why did she feel the need to tell him this? Alec wanted to say she was just trying to be nice by telling him, but the way she staring everyone down as if analyzing them, ticked him off.

Alec nodded slightly, before turning back to face Ragnor, expecting him to continue and for her to leave.

“Didn’t you hear me? Let’s go.” Isabelle clarifying, crossing her arms. She was mad.

“I’m not going.” Alec replied, “You guys don’t have to wait for me.” Alec was trying to keep his composure, after all he was sitting across from what he considered high level VIPS. Alec didn’t understand why she was trying to make him leave with them or why she even thought he’d say yes. They ignored him while he was over there. With Magnus and his friends, he could actually let loose a little bit. They actually paid attention to him.

Isabelle glared at him. “We’re meeting up with Sebastian, it’d be good for you guys to talk.” 

Alec froze up. She can’t be serious. Why was everything always about him? Why was she so obsessed with trying to glue them together? What was it that made her so persistent?

“No Iz, I’m not doing this anymore. I’m sor-I’m staying here.” No, he wouldn’t apologize. He wasn’t sorry for ditching the miserable cycle he had been in for so long.

A few months ago, Alec never would have been able to say that. He would have dragged himself along and probably ended up hooking up with his ex. But that was a few months ago. He wasn’t weak anymore. He squeezed Magnus’ hand to steal some strength and felt the boost when Magnus squeezed back. 

“You can tell Sebastian that I don’t ever want to talk to him again. I’ve moved on.” Alec finished.

“Alec, don’t be ridiculous. You guys were literally perfect. Seb made one mistake. It was an accident and-”

“He said no.” Magnus cut in sharply with a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. Isabelle turned to glare at Magnus. She was going to argue but something about Magnus made her turn on her 6 inch heels and leave. 

What small mistake did she think Sebastian had made?

The table was quiet for a minute as Alec watched his family leave the bar, only Jace turning around to give Alec a small wave and smile which he returned. Alec sighed and pulled his hand away from Magnus. Yet again Alec felt ashamed because a situation he couldn’t handle, but this time other people were being dragged into his mess.

“I-I’m sorry.” He whispered.

Cat immediately shook her head.

“You have nothing to apologize for. I can’t believe she just walked over here like that.” Cat ranted. “Was that your sister? You guys are nothing alike.” 

Alec shrugged, looking down. She was his big sister and Alec wasn’t completely used to saying no to her. Being the youngest, Alec was expected to go along with whatever Jace or Izzy said. So many things have changed since he’d met Magnus… then again, Magnus was older than all of them so that probably canceled out a lot of things...

Ragnor and Cat entertained him with a few more stories before the night ended and Magnus took him back to his place, hand in hand. Magnus loved to touch things. He would constantly play with his jewelry, feel up tables and other smooth surfaces. Magnus would always be found with something in his hands. He said texture was his way to connect. Even minutiae on a piece of glass told a story, both sad and happy ones.

If Alec was around, Magnus would have his hands all over his body, feeling up his chest, arms, playing with his hair. Holding his hands. Alec found that touch seemed to ground the both of them while simultaneously bringing them even closer. The touches weren’t always sexual which Alec could definitely appreciate, but when they were Alec could feel the ghosts of Magnus’ hands days afterwards.

When the couple made it to the steps of Alec’s apartment, it was clear that neither of them wanted to seperate. The way Magnus was talking and kissing him, Alec was wondering if they should end the night upstairs? 

Alec looked up while his bottom lip was being nipped and pulled to where he knew his apartment was and froze after noticing his lights were on. Magnus could sense the change instantly and looked up as well. Magnus looked down at Alec with a frown.

“I’m guessing you're not the type to leave your lights on?”

Alec didn’t reply and only pursed his lips. 

“Do you want me to go up with you?” Magnus asked, running his fingers through Alec’s hair. He knew the answer already, Magnus had spent enough time with Alec to know the type of person he was when it came to confrontation. 

Alec took a deep breath and shook his head no. Magnus smiled warily as he trailed his fingers down Alec’s face to his chin.

“I’m always going to be here for you, ok? Don’t push me out, and don’t let them in if you don’t want to… Keep your head straight, my love, even if you aren’t.” 

Alec nodded but he was already beginning to feel dizzy, not even registering the small attempt at humor. Magnus sighed and hugged Alec which he fell into, breathing in Magnus’ cologne. 

“Thank you.” He whispered and Magnus kissed him on the forehead. 

  
“Go. Text me before you go to sleep ok? You can call me if you need to. I’ll answer no matter what time it is.”  
  
Alec smiled, how did he get so lucky?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyeddd~
> 
> For those concerned about the siblings, don't worry, I love Jace and Izzy too much to have them hated throughout a whole story. If they were my siblings I'd probably be throwing hands with them everyday, but they're perfect for Alec :P 
> 
> Next update might be out on Friday or Saturday. I've written up to chapter 7 but I have to get a friend to find my mistakes :/ Updates might be quick at first cause they're prewritten, but once i'm out of pre writes they're gonna slow down because I tend to write long chapters.
> 
> To the cuties that can't take a joke, I guess Indian yellow is the best color you've ever seen in your life?


	3. Broken Wings and Swollen Noses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for actual abuse written in this chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finished editing earlier than I thought I would so I’m posting it now. This chapter actually hurt to write so I really don't have anything to say or troll with today :/  
> I promise it gets better.
> 
> Sorry for any mistakes.

**CHAPTER 3**

  
  


He knew that Sebastian would’ve been waiting for him in his apartment, but it didn’t stop the shock of seeing his ex going through his sketchbook and eating his food. Sebastian hadn’t even looked up when the door opened. 

“So, you left me for a fling with a fruitcake?”

Alec paused in his entrance hallway. 

“I left you because you’re an abusive asshole. Magnus had nothing to do with it.” Alec shot back. Alec could stand Sebastian breaking down his character and calling him weak, but any shots at Magnus were going to get shot back. Magnus was perfect and no loser was going to try and tell Alec otherwise. 

“Mmm, I don’t think so. I saw him down there with you. You were going to fuck him, weren’t you.” It wasn’t even a question and for some reason it got under Alec’s skin. 

“Or maybe he was going to fuck me, i don’t know, we hadn’t gotten that far.” Alec knew how jealous Sebastian used to get, the sight of even seeing someone stare Alec for a second too long used to get him riled up. 

“I didn’t know you could draw like this.” Sebastian hummed, changing the topic. 

Alec stalked right up to him and snatched his sketchbook out of Sebastian’s hands. 

“Don’t touch what isn’t yours. Get out of my apartment right now.”

“Oh, but it’s not just your apartment now is it, Ali-bear. I signed the lease too so you can’t kick me out. I must’ve let you get away with that too many times huh, cause now you think you’re the boss.” Sebastian got up and stood face to face with Alec. Sebastian wasn’t taller than him, far from it actually, but the aura he gave off made him seem like a giant.

“I don’t like this new attitude of yours. You’re upsetting our sisters. I thought you understood the way things were going to work now. Taking breaks every now and then doesn’t mean you can go off and start a new relationship. And quite frankly, opening up your legs for everyone who asks doesn’t make me feel very inclined to take you back, you know.”

“Then don’t. We aren’t taking a break!” Alec shouted. “We are done! I want nothing to do with you!” 

“Calm down, honey. You wouldn’t want to wake up the neighbors.” Sebastian sneered.

Alec turned and headed towards his kitchen, he needed something. 

“You know you’re being selfish, right? You’re hurting our family for what? Does it make you happy? We would’ve been married by now if you didn’t think with your dick. How many kids did you say you wanted?” Sebastian pestered, following Alec closely around the apartment, nagging him and reminding Alec of hopes he’d had for them when they were younger. 

They were delusions Alec realizes, Sebastian had never been a good guy from the start. Sebastian grabbed and yanked Alec by the arm, forcing him to face him once more. Alec glared at him, disgusted by his touch. He wasn’t going to fall for this again.

“We would’ve been divorced by now and your father would’ve been rolling in his grave because you don’t believe in prenups.” Alec shot back. Alec knew he messed up the second he saw Sebastian’s already dark eyes flash and darken even more. His gorgeous face twisted into something ugly and demented as Alec felt his heart drop. He’d stepped on a landmine.

The next thing Alec knew, his head was being slammed into the refrigerator. It was sudden, one second he couldn’t hear anything at all, and in the next all he could hear was a loud ringing threatening to shatter him.

“Don’t you EVER fucking talk about my dad or I swear to god Alec-”

“What, are you going to kill me? They’d know it was you, you sick freak.” 

Maybe it was the alcohol he had earlier, but Alec found himself not caring as Sebastian held him by his throat. He laughed as best as he could as he dug his nails into the fist closed around his throat. Sebastian tightened his grip even harder and all Alec could do was stare up at him from where he was sprawled out and squirming on the kitchen floor.

The idea of a flight or fight response is wrong Alec realized. There was also the option of freezing up completely. There was that pathetic part of him couldn’t even handle the thought of causing Sebastian pain, the part that wanted to apologize for bringing up Valentine in the first place. And then there was that part of him that wanted to stand his ground.

Alec was angry, why couldn’t he live his life the way he wanted, the way that made him happy?

Alec felt his eyes roll back and coughed, gasping for air. Sebastian let up just a little, enough for Alec to breathe but still keeping him pinned down. 

“Do you understand how much you hurt me, Alec? I do everything for you but everyday you come home and you’re just ungrateful. Everyday I come home and you just have to bitch and moan about every little thing. You force me to do these things to you.” Sebastian hissed, water falling from his own eyes and onto Alec’s cheeks.

“I love it when you smile Alec, I really do but you only listen to me when I have to get mean with you.” He sniffled, “I love you so much it hurts.”

“Love isn’t supposed to hurt, Seb.” Alec cried, “I don’t want to feel this way! Get off of me and leave me alone! You don’t care about anyone but yourself!”

“Are you shitting me, Alec!” Sebastian’s eyes lit up again as he grabbed and pulled at Alec’s hair. 

“Everything I do is for you! Everywhere you want to go, we go. Something you wanna try, we do. Your head is so far up some other guy’s ass you can’t even see the damage you do to other people.” Sebastian snarled.

“You’ve never been fair! You sleep around, you’re always out with some other guy or a stripper but you want to vilify me for being with someone I care about?” 

“You don’t give a rat’s ass about him. Admit it.”

Alec shook his head as slowly tried to sit up, hoping that Sebastian would just let him go. The older man let him sit up but kept Alec in a position where he couldn’t do anything.

“I’m falling in love with him.” 

Sebastian’s shoulders fell. “No you’re not. You love me. Me.” He choked out.

“I don’t, I can’t love you anymore. I don’t care if no one ever speaks to me again, I can’t work on this with you anymore.” Alec whispered.

Sebastian crawled into Alec’s lap, taking the other man’s hand into his own, guiding it to his cheek. Alec fumbled as Sebastian’s face relaxed and moved his hand on his own accord to squeeze his ex’s nose. 

“I know it’s rough right now Alec, but you don’t mean it. We’re made for each other. You love looking at me-”

“You want me to admire your looks all day while I can’t even glance in a mirror without feeling ashamed of myself? You want me to take you back tonight, knowing that when I wake up tomorrow I’ll be bruised and battered with a mild concussion?”

“Don’t put it like that-”

“How should I put it Sebastian? I should leave someone who’s treated me better than I even deserve and be with you who treats me like a punching back?”

“Alec you don’t even know the guy. We have history. We can make it work. If we get married everything will change. We can go on a nice little honeymoon…. Maybe that’s we’ve been doing wrong! Instead of spending time away from each other, we should spend more time together. Getting to know each other again… connecting our minds, our souls, our bodies.”

“I don’t want to connect with you and however many people you’ve connected with the past year.” Alec scoffed, trying to ignore the dizzying sensation that was sneaking back up on him. 

  
  


“Oh, is my baby jealous? I promise you it didn’t mean anything, I can make it up right now if you want.” Sebastian smiled leaning in, pushing hair off of Alec’s forehead. He probably thought he had him, Alec realized. Sebastian probably those sweets words were enough to get him back. 

“No, you just might want to get tested. I want no part in that mess.” Alec grinned. The smile dropped from Sebastian’s face as his face turned red and blotchy from rage. A sudden pain shot through him as he was let go. Alec went to grab his nose when he was punched again and this time the pain was in his eye. Alec fell over as he tried to protect his head, bearing kick after kick to his ribs. 

“You’re going to regret this. You better not crawl back to me after that slutty, gigolo looking piece of shit is done using you. You’re nothing without me, the sooner you realize that, the sooner we can get back to normal. Fuck you, Alec.” 

Alec looked up with his good eye and watched as sebastian left, tossing his sketchbook into the water filled sink. Alec sat up as fast as he could and crawled to the sink to pull out the book. He knew just from the looks of it that it was ruined. Alec didn’t realize he was crying again until he felt a drop hit his hand. He wanted to call Magnus. He wanted to feel his arms around him, supporting him. But what would he say seeing Alec look like this?

~

Magnus sat in front of his phone the whole night worried sick. He waited for a call that never came. He was hoping that Alec was ok, hoping that maybe he had in fact just left his lights on. Or maybe he’d passed out drunk on his couch. 

But Magnus knew better. 

Tonight would answer the question of whether or not he would still have the right to label Alec as his in the morning.

~

Magnus woke up bright and early and walked the 15 minutes to Alec’s apartment, stopping for bagels and tea along the way. He thought coffee tasted like ass, sue him.

Magnus buzzed Alec’s apartment and waited. He buzzed again when he got no answer. Anxiety was oozing out of him as he pressed the buzzer over and over again until he heard a raspy voice pick up.

“Alexander? It’s me darling. Let me in, please?”

“Go away, Magnus.”

Magnus could hear his blood thumping through his veins. This was what he was afraid of. He was being left behind again.

“Alexander, please-”

“No. I don't want you to see me like this.” 

Ok… This he could handle. He wasn’t back with Sebastian.

“Please don’t shut me out. Darling, we talked about this. Whatever you’re thinking right now- sayang, I brought bagels. Please let me in.” Magnus was beginning to panic as he thought of what could have happened to make Alec sound so distraught. 

“Magnus…”

“I told you that I would accept you for all your flaws as long as you accepted mine. Let me keep my promise. I want to be there for you. Please, let me be there for you.” 

It was a minute later that the door buzzed and Magnus rushed to open it. He was at Alec’s door in record time, twisting the knob to open it. Alec looked so out of place standing in the middle of his apartment. Magnus had just enough brain power to put the bagels and tea on the counter before rushing over to Alec.

Magnus let out short staggered breaths as he saw his face. His face was bruised purple. His nose looked crooked and one of his eyes were swollen shut. He was shirtless, exposing the fact that his chest was bruised as well. 

Magnus hands hovered around Alec’s face. He wanted to touch his face to prove that it wasn’t real, but he refrained from doing so. A tear slid down Alec’s cheek as his lips trembled. 

“H-He ruined my sketchbook.” Alec whispered shakily, pointing to a book behind Magnus on the door. Next to it was the blow dryer Magnus had bought Alec a couple weeks back. 

“It’s ok.” Magnus replied, knowing very well that it was not ok. Something dear to Alec’s heart had been destroyed. The one thing he thought was safe, one of the only things that made him _feel_ safe had been violated. 

“No it’s not.” Alec cried, and the dam broke. Alec fell against Magnus who caught him easily. Alec cried into Magnus’ shirt and Magnus cried with him. Why did someone like Alec have to go through something like this? Alec who never worked for himself but for others. Alec who only tried to make others like him, Alec who only ever wanted to fit in. 

Life wasn’t fair.

~

After Alec calmed down, Magnus managed to get him to eat a little while he inspected the water damaged book.

“Why did he do this?” Magnus wondered. It seemed like the most random thing to do. It’s not like Alec went around telling people drawing was his therapy.

“Most of it is you.” Alec replied, holding the frozen peas to his nose. The bleeding had started back up again but he didn’t look too worried so neither was Magnus. The calm told him that Alec was more than used to dealing with stuff like that, and while incredibly unfortunate, kept Magnus from panicking considering the situation was technically under control.

Magnus smiled and gently turned the moist and smudged pages.

“It isn’t that bad, you can still see some of the detailing. We could take out the pages and laminate them to put into a binder.” 

Alec hissed as he stood up and sat beside Magnus.

“We don’t have to do it for all of them. All the ugly ones can stay in the book.” Alec’s voice was hoarse as he spoke which made Magnus want to shush him and give him a glass of water.

“Don’t stress yourself too much, love. And none of these are ugly! Especially the ones of me!” Magnus laughed, putting the book back down.

“Let me see your nose, it’s not broken right?”

“No, I think it’s just swollen.” Alec answered lowering the frozen plastic. Magnus held Alec’s head up by his chin, turning his head in different angles to check for himself. His eyes wandered down to Alex’s neck which was bruised purple and grimaced.

“I usually don’t mind a little a little breath play, but this is definitely overkill.” 

Alec rolled the eye that wasn’t stuck shut and put the peas back to his nose. Magnus looked around and sighed.

“... We should take pictures.” Magnus started, “Proof that you were abused. I know you said you don’t want him in trouble, but in case anything happens, it's good to have something to back you.”

Alec nodded. “I took some yesterday. I have a folder full of that stuff, even from the first time. I have hospital reports from when I get seriously injured… It’s so tempting to just-“ Alec exhaled deeply and shook his head.

“I’m not strong enough.”

Magnus took Alex’s free hand and sandwiched it in between his own while he shook his head.

“You are one of the strongest people I know Alexander. Don’t doubt yourself.”

Magnus grabbed Alec’s phone off the floor and unlocked it with his fingerprint. He swiped over the camera and snapped some pictures of Alec’s injuries. 

“...can I see the others?” Magnus quietly asked.

“Are you sure?”

“I just want to know… what you’ve been through I guess.”

Alec nodded and directed Magnus to a folder titled ‘Christmas list 2013’

Magnus couldn’t believe his eyes. There were hundreds of pictures, starting all the way from 2015. 4 years of Trauma. Alec had even managed to get a video of Sebastian blowing up at him over shoes being in the living room.

“...How did you live like this?”

“He’d beat the shit outta me and then I’d suck his dick for making him have to hurt me. All I could do was say sorry and say I wouldn’t do it again…” Alec answered. The peas were melting and his fingers were going numb from the cold.

“He hurt me, but we were so solid. We would do everything together, our conversations were so intimate. When we were good, it was perfect. But when we weren’t, well…” Alec shrugged.

“...Camille and I never really talked unless she was yelling at me. I was blessed just being able to see her.”

“Yeah, they have a way of making you feel like you need them in order to survive. Nothing else matters except for them...”

“...Do you think you’re fucked up?” Magnus asked, swiping blankly past photo after photo. He paused. That hadn’t come out right.

“Definitely.” Alec chuckled, “I don’t think I’ll ever really go back to being normal either cause I don’t even remember what it feels like to not have to flinch because something moved too fast out the corner of your eye.”

Magnus put the phone face down on the floor and grabbed Alec’s hand.

“Maybe you should talk to someone?”

“I talk to you.” Alec replied easily, dropping his head down. 

“I mean a professional, Alec. Drawing is good but you’ve been quiet for so long… You probably have some things you’ll never tell me, right?”

Alec shrugged. “I can promise you I’ll think about it… if you do too.”

Magnus smiled, “I do already hun. Ragnor gives me free therapy sessions. He acts like a completely different person when we see each other and still acts surprised when I tell him things as a friend that I’ve already told him as a therapist.” 

Alec nodded, before trying to stifle a painful yawn. 

“Do you need to sleep?” Magnus asked, lightly caressing the sides of Alec’s face.

“Yeah.. can you make sure I wake up? I think I might have a concussion so I’ve tried not to fall asleep. Do you mind?”

“Not at all, my dear.” Magnus replied, standing up. He gave Alec a hand and pulled the younger boy up. Alec let Magnus lead him to the bedroom where he slowly and carefully got into bed. Magnus sat perched at the head of the bed. Alec used his thigh as a pillow while Magnus cooed and rubbed his shoulders.

“You’re so cute, my love.”

“I’m not cute.” Alec scowled. Magnus chuckled as he felt Alec’s breathing slow down. His mind got away from him as he reprimanded himself. Magnus knew that Alec would have been facing his abuser all by himself when he let him go the night before. He knew, yet he did nothing as Alec wobbled into his apartment building, clearly scared out of his wits and shaking in his worn out sneakers. 

Magnus knew he could sit there and blame himself all day and night for not going up with Alec, or better yet even taking Alec with him back home, but it wouldn’t make a difference. The damage was already done.

Alec deserved better.

“Let’s fix each other, ok?”

“Ok.” Alec quietly replied shortly before his small breaths turned into light snores.

Alec deserved better, so Magnus had no choice but to be better.


	4. Assume Your Favorite Position

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Basically just smut :>, some fluffy on the side

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys, hope you enjoyed your thanksgiving :)   
> RIP to Godfrey, I thought I had more time before it would happen but no reading is 100% :/   
> Grateful to have met him before his passing, and grateful for his impact on my love for the series. 
> 
> Sorry for any mistakes.

**CHAPTER 4**

Alec didn’t draw in pencil anymore. He only drew in pen or ink and used the thickest paper he could find. It was more expensive sure, but his art was much safer.

Alec and Magnus were walking hand and hand through the park, talking about each other’s day, generally just enjoying each other’s company. It’d been a couple days since Alec broke his lease and moved in with Magnus and they were having the time of their lives.

Magnus, who was petty enough and had the connections, convinced the landlord to keep Sebastian on the lease. It hadn’t taken much since she knew how Alec was being treated. She’d said that she would let the rent go for a couple of months before suing.

She was someone who had stood by and done nothing while Alec suffered but in the end she’d done her best. He didn’t take her silence too hard though, how could he have expected her to help when he couldn’t even help himself? He had the strength now though and that’s what mattered most. Probably.

Magnus’ apartment felt safer than his old one and it wasn’t just because of the security that guarded the doors, or the fact that no one knew where he lived. It felt safer because it was Magnus’. It was like his apartment was capable of holding him when Magnus himself wasn’t around. The smell of incense and flowers was a smell Alec never thought he ever really liked, but perhaps it had only been a mindset thing. All of Magnus’ clothes and sheets smelled like sandalwood and brown sugar. Alec often found himself just shoving his face into pillows and t shirts when Magnus was out. It was intoxicating.

And sure, he’d slept over many times and came over for dinner, but it was a different experience altogether seeing as how he would wake up, eat, and come back to call it home.

Alec had even transferred to a different branch at work as well. Magnus had told him that it was best to separate from his old life if he wanted to move on and grow stronger. Working in the same building as his friends wasn’t good for his mental health and he needed space. Magnus had also recommended the transfer because of how Alec always had the tendency to throw himself into his work, taking care of things he didn’t need to and overall carrying too much weight on his shoulders. A new office meant that he would have less responsibilities, a fresh start, and more time for himself. Alec was back on his 9 to 5 grind, giving him more time to draw and paint, and sometimes even write.

Alec had taken the red box with him when he moved. Magnus had been curious when he’d seen it and Alec felt guilty when he had to refuse him. Magnus being the darling perfect angel he was, understood and backed off, not without teasing of course whether or not Alec was hiding his favorite toy from him. 

Most importantly though, less hours at work meant more time with Magnus. More time for dates and movies. More time to plan trips and rides. 

It was a win win all around.

~

Alec’s moans came out in short, quiet gasps. His palm was stinging in pain as he tried to hide his sounds, but Magnus wasn’t making it any easier. 

“Ma-ah! Fuck fuck wai-”

“Shh, darling. You don’t want to get caught.” Magnus whispered into Alec’s ear before nibbling on his ear lobe. Alec never thought that he’d find himself here, in a public bathroom getting his soul fucked out of him. 

Sex with Magnus has always been magical, but something about the possibility of getting caught was blowing his libido into overdrive.

Did it even matter that Alec was trying to be quiet? The sound of skin slapping wetly was loud enough in the single stall bathroom. Everything was louder in there and Alec was pretty sure there wasn’t even anyone in building besides them and maybe a janitor or two.

“M-Magnus I’m gonna cum, I-” 

Magnus pulled out completely and turned Alec around from where he was bracing his hands against the wall and dropped to his knees. Alec huffed out gasps of air as Magnus grabbed him by the waist.

“I wanna taste you.” The older man quickly explained before swallowing Alec whole. Alec felt his head hit the wall behind him as he scrambled for purchase. He ended up with one hand gripping the sink hard and his other hand buried in Magnus’ hair.

Magnus had no qualms about getting a little messy when sucking dick. Webs of saliva and precum connected Magnus’ mouth and hands to Alec’s blood filled cock. Alec wasn’t going to last long regardless, but the way Magnus kept eye contact the whole time sends Alec right over the edge. Alec felt all his muscles lock up as his eyes rolled to the back of his head, pulling on his boyfriends thick head of hair. Magnus opens his mouth as wide he can to catch all the cum Alec has to offer and then slurps his cock clean.

“Thank you for the meal.” Magnus smiles, voice deep with strain. Alec slides down the wall, his hair stuck to his face as he tries to catch his breath.

“Can I go back in, darling?” Magnus asks, pushing Alec’s legs up and fitting into the gap. His hands were all over Alec’s pecs, rubbing his cute little pink nipples, exposed by his buttonless button up shirt while he waited for Alec to reply. 

Alec wrapped his arms around Magnus’ neck and nodded, pulling him in for a tongue tango. Magnus moaned before burying his face in Alec’s neck, shivering as he pushed back into his boyfriend. Magnus kissed the tender flesh of Alec’s neck, licking off some of his sweat before leaving him with what would be a hickey the next morning. Alec gasped into Magnus’ ears as the taller man fucked into him, his legs crossing across his boyfriend’s back. 

“Magnus it feels so good...” Alec lets out a choked sob as pleasure shot up his spine. Magnus was hitting it deep inside him, lingering his thrusts that felt particularly good. Magnus’ attention wasn’t only inside of Alec though, his hands paid attention to his back, to make sure he was comfortable, and to his head to make sure Alec didn’t hit it too hard against the wall. He didn’t let Alec’s lips get lonely, instead leaving them pink, plump, and wet with dirty kisses. 

“By the angel-” Alec panted into Magnus’ mouth, and the other man smiled dazedly. 

“You’re so beautiful. Can I come inside you? Do you want to walk around with my come inside you?”

“Yes yesss-! Hah hah- please- ” Alec nodded wildly, trying to get somehow even closer than possible to Magnus by bucking his hips and tightening the hold his legs and arms on him.. Magnus sped up and added more power to his thrusts and Alec couldn’t help but think about how Sebastian had never made him feel this way as he clenched his eyes shut tight and writhed away in Magnus’ lap. Sebastian couldn’t make him cum twice. Actually, thinking back to it was usually a struggle for one. Sebastian couldn’t make him stupid with just his words and hands, brainless with his cock. Magnus moaned loudly as he finished and Alec cooed as he felt Magnus’ nut fill him up. Alec smiled as he watched his boyfriend’s eyebrows relax and his lips part.

Magnus let himself relax as he tried to even out his breath, feeling Alec’s card through his hair and leave a trail of kisses along his jaw. Magnus laid a soft peck on Alec’s lips before he slowly pulled out, watching as his cum dripped out.

“Clench your hole, sweet. We don’t want it all coming out now do we?” 

Alec shook his head and sat up, trying his best to keep it all inside him, blushing as Magnus watched his little hole clench. Was Magnus proud seeing him like this? 

“You’re so sexy, my love. I can’t wait to eat you out when we get home. Put your clothes back on.” 

Alec shivered. It was going to be one of those nights.

  
Two men scrambled back into a somewhat presentable state and rushed out of the bathroom stall, giggling like school children as they both tried to look out for anyone who might’ve heard anything. Alec was blushing like mad, hyper aware of the mess forming in his boxers. Magnus knew he was struggling and slapped him on his ass, squeezing one of his cheeks. Life was so much more full, filling, free. Alec laughed as he fell into Magnus’ chest. They smelled like sex and sandalwood, a homemade Magnus manufactored scent. 

That was what Alec’s happiness smelled like.

~

  
  


Alec thought he was going to die. He was sweating like a pig in a sauna and they weren’t even 15 minutes into the workout. 

“Fuck! Hah!- Pause it I can’t breathe.” Alec collapsed on the mat and rolled over to his back. He heard Magnus deep chuckle and watched as his boyfriend entered his view. The video stopped and Alec opened his mouth wide as Magnus squirted ice cold water into his mouth from a blue bottle. Alec gulped after Magnus let up and sighed as the bottle was pressed against his forehead. The cold was biting into him in the most welcome way.

“I thought you said you were used to a high paced workout, Sayang?” Magnus giggled. 

“I was. Not whatever the hell this is.” Alec groaned. 

“Those were just warmups my love. 30 more seconds to calm down, then we get back up.” Magnus clapped, standing up. 

“I can’t do it again, Mags. I-Isn’t there a beginner mode?”

Magnus barked a laugh. “It’s not that bad darling.” 

“No, it’s worse. My ribs feel like they’re gonna go through my lungs.” Alec complained, pressing a hand up against his chest. He sat up after grabbing the water bottle from Magnus and spun off the head. Alec guzzled down half the bottle before wiping his forehead with the back of his hand. 

“Do you usually do this?” Alec asked, slowing his breath. “Jumping around, kicking in the air and shit?”

“Of course. I can’t stay this tight by just eating sushi.” Magnus chuckled, “Though I have to admit, I have been slacking for a while.” 

“Why not just go to a gym? Treadmills are nice.” Alec coughed, closing the bottle and laying back down.

“Gyms aren’t quiet for one. There’s too many people, too many germs. I’d rather sit here in the comfort of my own living room.”

Alec thought it over and shrugged. Yeah, he could see that. 

“This kickboxing yoga mess isn’t my thing though, can we start off slow?”

Magnus smiled. “Oh all right.”

~

Alec could feel the blood rushing to his head as his back grew more sore. One leg was raised in the air while the other struggled to balance him up. Both his palms were flat on the ground as he tried to keep his back as close up against the wall as possible. This was easier, he was able to keep up with Magnus, though his boyfriend was going above and beyond with the stretches. Magnus didn’t need the wall and he had his legs and posture perfectly straight and aligned with his core. Or something like that.

Alec wasn’t even sure Magnus remembered that he was there. He was so concentrated and lost in his breaths that it looked like her was lost in his own little world. Alec closed his eyes and began counting down from 5. When he hit 0, Alec dropped the pose and got into the plank stance that he’d learned earlier. One of the only poses he was really solid on, it reminded of the push ups he’d much rather be doing.

Alec took deep breaths in through his nose and exhaled as softly as he could through his mouth as to not disturb his boyfriend. He looked up when Magnus dropped the pose and watched as the older man pulled the tie holding up his bun out. He retied it, paying extra attention to the strands of hair that must’ve been bothering him. 

Magnus caught Alec’s eye and smiled before bending back into another position. 

“...You know I can’t wait until you get as flexible as I am.” Magnus murmured, finding no need to speak any louder in the already silent room. Alec scoffed. 

“Yeah, that won’t be happening anytime soon.” 

“It’ll happen, I’ll make sure of it. Next time we exercise, we can go for a jog or go to the gym of your choosing.” 

“I thought gyms were too germy for you?” Alec asked.

“Relationships are all about compromise, my darling.” 

Alec ducked his head as he tried to hide a smile. Ok, that totally didn’t just melt his cold little stoic heart. 

“Tell you what, do the most complicated pose you’ve learned today and I’ll let you fuck me in it.” 

Alec choked a laugh as he dropped the plank. 

“What the hell?” 

“I have the stability to hold the pose and you have the strength to hold me up. This is me motivating you to do better.”

Alec stared at his boyfriend for no more than 30 seconds before bouncing up. Magnus’ lips stretched out into cheshire cat like grin as Alec assumed the position he wanted. 

It was one of those weekends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed, I'll post the next chapter when I can sit down and edit it.   
> Too many things are happening at once lol. My school life is in shambles, but my folder is filled with half finished stories with no titles B-)
> 
> I always have so much to say in my head but when I go to write it, my laziness kicks in and I fold :?


	5. Bubble Tears

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kinda forget to post last week :U  
> Sorry sorry, thanks for all the comments though guys, really appreciate it.   
> This chapters a little short but its a build up of sorts, kinda. You'll see.
> 
> Anyways, sorry for any mistakes, see you at the bottom.

**CHAPTER 5**

Jace was uncomfortable as he watched his friends get more and more angry as they talked about their missing member. 

Simon was right beside him looking equally as uncomfortable as they watched Sebastian rant about what had happened. Neither of them could believe the version of Alec that was being portrayed, it was far too out of character for the little soldier they’d grown up with. 

“We must have never been that important to him if Alec could dump us just like that.” Clary snorted holding a cup of warm milk. 

“Who even is this guy?” Izzy asked. “ I want to know what he’s telling Alec that’s making him act like this.” 

Sebastian was sprawled out on the couch looking genuinely distraught. 

“I saw them… It was like all the shit we’ve been through didn’t matter at all. What does he have that I don’t?” Seb asked.

“When I was trying to get Alec to come meet with you he butted in and made me leave.” Izzy complained. “Alec is  _ my _ little brother. If I tell him to leave, he should. He’s nothing but a stranger.”

Sebastian sighed and sat up. 

“You know what, maybe… maybe it’s over. For real this time. Alec hasn’t been happy with me anymore, maybe letting him go is good.”

“Sebastian stop.” Clary’s eyes were blazing as she squeezed a pillow. “You deserve to be happy. Alec is just being stupid. He loves you.”

Jace was the first one to crack.

“Alec isn’t a fucking tool for his happiness.” 

Everyone turned to look at him but he didn’t stop, staring Izzy straight in her eyes.

“Forcing him to do stuff he doesn’t want to.. he’s not some toy Izzy. You can’t dress him up and with makeup anymore and expect him not to fight back. If he’s found happiness somewhere else… we should be happy for him. When we were kids, Alec couldn’t even muster up the strength to ask the waiters for Chicken nuggets.

I know it might suck for you Sebastian, but Alec is becoming an adult. Mentally. He’s spreading out. We shouldn’t be trying to put him out like this, we’re supposed to be family. Mom would literally kill us, Iz.”

“Why? because her star baby can’t make up his mind? He’s playing tug of war with Sebastian’s heart, but that's ok right? Because he’s Alec? You’re full of shit Jace.” Izzy snarled.

“No Jace is right.” Simon sighed. “Alec always looks miserable whenever we take him out. He’s not a kid anymore, he can pick who he wants to go out with.”

“Simon come on.” Clary gave her friend a look and stood up. “You know what, you’re right. Forget Alec. He wants to act as if we don’t exist, then let him. We don’t need him anyways.”

“You started it first.” Jace answered, annoyed. “You made us stop talking to him so that he would apologize to Sebastian.”

Clary made a face that said ‘duh’.

“Giving someone the cold shoulder when your angry isn’t allowed? Oh and- Not to mention, it worked.”

“For a week and then he’d be gone again. Look, I’m sick and tired of acting like Alec is a stranger to me, because he’s not. He’s my little brother. If you guys want to continue acting like kids, than that’s fine by me. I’m not getting involved anymore. I thought you guys were trying to fix things but honestly it just looks like you’re making things worse.” Jace finished, crossing his arms. Jace had made up his mind and it was final. 

“Jace, this is Alec we’re talking about. The same one that had a crush on you, his own brother. Look, he doesn’t know what’s good for him and we’re trying to look out for him. He just doesn’t see that.” Clary shot back.

“First of all, Alec never had a crush on me. He wanted to be like me, there’s a difference between love and admiration... I honestly can't even believe you just said that, Clary.” Jace rose, staring at his wife in disbelief. 

“Jace we all know the truth.” Clary rolled her eyes.

“Um, I think I’m going to leave for today. Maybe once the rest of you realize that we aren’t in some superimposed version of the sims, you’ll understand just how  _ wrong _ this is.” And with that Jace grabbed his jacket . He brushed past his wife, ignoring Izzy’s stare. Jace looked down at Sebastian and froze for a second, seeing a look he’s never seen before. It was only there for a second before Sebastian stood up as well, clapping Jace on the shoulder.

“You know what, Jace? You’re right. I mean, we don’t even know the guy Alec is dating. We can’t just judge him like that.” Sebastian nodded. Jace shrugged him off and stepped back as the blonde continued.

“If Alec wants to date him… then that’s his choice. He deserves to be happy, even if it's not with me. But, as his family we should at least find out if the guy’s good for him or not. We’ve looked after him his entire life. We can at least make sure he doesn’t get into any trouble.” Sebastian tilted his head, a small smile on his face.

“We don’t want Alec getting hurt, now do we?”

~

Alec was sure the feelings he had for Magnus were never going to fade. Not even in ten lifetimes. In fact, Alec wasn’t even sure his love for that man had even peaked yet. 

Alec had just finished a backbreaking shift at the office. He had to spend a couple hours later than usual because he’d been distracted and messed up an order. Everyone had just figured it’d been a bad day for the newbie, and hadn’t minded helping Alec out since he’d shown to be a very hard worker and it’d been his first screw up since he’d joined their branch. No one had asked what it was that was bothering him, after all, there wasn’t much of a relationship built between Alec and his coworkers, and for that Alec was thankful. 

Alec had been in the middle of printing out his assignments when his phone buzzed. Magnus had been the match the start the fire, having sent Alec a series of clothes he was considering buying. The first few photos were normal. A few button ups and blouses. But the further Alec scrolled the more revealing the pictures got. Alec walked around, trying his best not to think about those pictures until he got home, which of course lead to him thinking about them even more. 

When Alec pushed the door to their place open, he was surprised to see Chairman Meow trying to eat a couple of rose petals which were scattered all over the floor. A shift in the corner of his eye caused Alec to turn his head to the kitchen doorway. Magnus looked so small where he was sitting by the fridge, his knees pulled up to chin and his arms wrapped around himself. Alec sighed when he noticed how badly his boyfriend was shaking, realizing he’d forgotten to text Magnus that he’d be late. 

Alec noticed the plates of steak and mashed potatoes on the table, a meal that Magnus knew to be Alec’s favorite. There were candles lit all around the apartment, all of which looked like they were getting ready to go out. 

Alec dropped down in front of Magnus and cradled his boyfriend’s head, lifting it so that he would look at him. Eyeliner was smeared all over his face and his lipstick had smudged and faded. 

“Mag-”

“Where were you?” Magnus choked, black bubble tears rolling down his face. “I waited.. So long I-”

“Magnus I’m so sorry. I had to stay late, I should’ve called you.”

Magnus shook his head and grappled at his hair. 

“I can’t do this Alec- Camille!” 

Alec’s heart broke at Magnus’ hiccuping sobs. Why couldn’t he do anything right? Magnus did everything he could to make Alec feel better, look better. Did everything in his power to make Alec feel safe and comfortable. Yet Alec couldn’t even send a text. He couldn’t give his boyfriend the bare minimum in assurance to stop him from breaking down like this, to stop him from feeling abandoned. 

Why was he so useless?

“Magnus i’m so sorry. I’m so stupid. I wasn’t thinking. Please don’t cry.”

But his apologies fell through as Magnus cried even harder.

~

After Alec cleared Magnus’ face of his makeup with a wipe and the older man washed his face, they quietly reheated the food in the microwave and sat at the table across from each other. Magnus gave Alec a wobbly smile. They both slowly ate and although Alec’s steak was cold in the middle they both enjoyed their meal.

“Thank you for dinner, Mags, It was really good.” 

“You’re welcome.” Magnus smiled, wiping his eyes. Alec stood up and kissed him on the forehead. “I’ll clean up here so you can go lay down.” 

Magnus nodded and disappeared down the halls, blowing out the candles as he turned on the lights. 

Alec held his head in his hands and sighed heavily. He felt so useless, so pained. Knowing Magnus, he would probably wake up in the morning happy as if nothing had happened the night before. 

Alec cleaned off the plates, putting the leftovers in the fridge before rinsing them off and putting them into the dishwasher. Alec grabbed a broom and made quick work of the petals scattered around the floor, sweeping them into a dustpan and throwing them into the bin. Alec went to turn the lights off but paused, pulling out his phone. His thumb hovered over the screen for a second before he quickly shot out a text and turned the lights off. Alec left his phone of the kitchen counter and sighed, making his way into the bedroom. 

Magnus was still awake when he pushed the door open, sat up on the bed stroking the cat. He smiled when Alec walked in and extended his hand out to him, pissing off the chairmen. 

Alec chuckled as the cat jumped down and took Magnus hand, leaning over to kiss the back of it. Manus preened and pulled Alec down with him on the bed. They rolled around for a bit until Magnus ended up lying with his head on Alec’s chest, the younger man’s arms wrapped around him.

“I’m sorry for freaking out. I know you wouldn’t do me like she did, I just got scared.” Magnus explained.

“Magnus, you never have to apologize for that. I should have texted you and let you know. I was just trying to finish my work as fast as possible to come home to you.”

Magnus hummed as he felt Alec’s long fingers massage his head. 

“...Did you buy everything you sent me?” Alec asked with a small smile.

“...Maybe.”

“What does that mean?”

“You’ll just have to find out for yourself, huh?” Magnus chuckled sitting up. “Come on, let’s go to sleep. You have work in the morning.” 

Alec stopped Magnus as he went to set his alarm. 

“You don’t have to make me breakfast tomorrow. I’m picking up breakfast.” 

“Ok.” Magnus replied, disappointed. “Wake me up before you leave though, ok?”

Alec nodded his reply and they both climbed under the sheets. Alec clapped his hands and the lights went out. Magnus attached himself to his boyfriend like a fly to a sticker sheet, shoving his face into Alec’s neck. 

It didn’t take them long at all to drift off to sleep.

~

Alec opened his eyes at around 5 in the morning, unsurprised to find Magnus’ face inches away. There must’ve been an open window because it was an unusually cold morning. Alec’s toes felt like little blocks of ice having been exposed to the open air some time during the night. This wouldn't do. 

Alec climbed out of bed, hissing when his feet touched the frozen floor. He looked around and found the bathroom window open and quickly shut it. Alec opened their closet and rummaged in the back until he found what he was looking for. 

Alec opened the comforter up on bed, draping it over Magnus feet and covering his head. He went around the other side of the bed and climbed in, wrapping himself under the blanket as well. Magnus would be mad when he woke up, hot pink and forest green didn’t go together afterall, but at least they’d both be warm.

~

“Alexander, wake up!” 

Alec jumped, his eyes wide as clothes were thrown at him and he was tugged in every which way.

“Why did you get back in bed? You’re already an hour late. Get up get up! I’ll drop you off-”

Alec narrowed his eyes at all the lights, and turned over. He mumbled something Magnus couldn’t understand.

“Alexander!” Magnus grabbed Alec by his feet and tried to drag him off the bed. Alec kicked back and Magnus gasped, spanking his boyfriend in retaliation.

“Are you a horse, darling? Why are you trying to kick me instead of getting ready!”

Alec rolled over onto his back and sat up before yanking Magnus down on the bed and rolling on top of him. 

“Stop yelling so early in the morning, it’s not good for your throat.” Alec rasped into his boyfriend’s ear. “I called in sick so I could stay home with you.”

Magnus stilled.

“Alexander, I’m ok now. You don’t have to-”

“I wanted to. I love you so much I don’t want to wait until the weekend to spend the day with you.” 

Magnus didn’t say anything at first as he let his fingers explore the expanse of Alec’s back. Alec couldn’t see the giant grin Magnus was biting to hide.

“...What’re we going to do today?” Magnus asked, 

“Anything you want.” Alec answered before yawing. “In an hour.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is pretty domestic. Since I missed last week's chapter I'll try and put the next one on Wednesday or something. No promises tho.


	6. Wakey Wakey, Eggs and Ice cream

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys :P totally didn't forget about this whole website in general. I was elected to go on my friend's honeymoon as the 'photographer' aka the third wheel with a purpose. Definitely no complaints though (I'M IN FRANCE RN WTFFF)
> 
> Anyways, I don't think I ever set a specific date for uploads, but yeah that's obsolete now if it happened. 
> 
> Do I jump around too much in the story? I always forget that not everyone can read my mind as I'm writing things so I tend to assume. I got a comment about it so I was just wondering, but if it's a problem for you readers I can go back and assign dates to each time skip. My brain just can't write things in cohesive chronological order, I'll work on that.
> 
> Sorry for any mistakes.

When Alec woke up again it was already noon and Magnus was nowhere to be found. The urge to sleep in longer was pulling him in once more but the sound of something shattering somewhere out in the main rooms had him jolting awake. Alec hissed as he jumped out of bed, running on his tippy toes in order to avoid the floors that were so cool to the touch. He had only just turned the corner when Alec heard a loud yeowl coming from what he assumed to be the cat. The chairmen rushed past him and less than a second later Magnus was bolting on after him. Alec closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose as he heard the sound of a door being slammed shut. Magnus had gotten the cat right where he wanted him.

Alec stepped out into the living room to see what had happened to see the vase that had been on the couch side table had shattered into millions of white and blue pieces. Alec furrowed his brows, Magnus wouldn’t have chased the Chairmen over a vase. He turned his head and groaned seeing the couch torn up in literal shreds as well as the curtains and the rugs. 

“By the angel…” Alec gasped trying to understand how something like this had happened. He turned and ran over to the cat’s room, pushing open the door and watching in disbelief as Magnus lectured the culprit behind the living room massacre. The cabinet that held the wet food was shut tightly and all the catnip toys were put away. The cat looked genuinely remorseful and guilty.

“Wha-What happened?” 

“This little guy decided to redecorate all on his own. If I could read his mind I’d find out why, but until he starts speaking English, he’ll be eating dry food.” Magnus answered with his arms crossed. 

“...Maybe you should get some cat camera? What if there was a fly and he was just trying to get it, knocking the vase over?”

“What? The vase was me. Oh but those cameras sound like a great idea… maybe I should just get more security in general... On the door… looking out the windows. We should have a camera in our room- private personnel only of course.” Magnus purred. 

Alec rolled his eyes. “I’ll clean up _your_ mess. I can’t do much about torn curtains though, you should order replacements.” 

“Oh darling, that can wait. You’ve already wasted half our time together by sleeping. You’re only cute for 15 minutes before you start drooling and snoring.”

“I do not snore.” Alec replied darkly, putting a finger up to Magnus’ face as he stalked up close, all but chest to chest.

“Yes you do.” Magnus whispered after bringing his lips right next to Alec’s ear. 

Alec jumped onto Magnus, wrapping his legs around his hips and his arms around his neck. Magnus was quick, holding Alec up by his butt and lower back, trying not to drop his lover as he had his neck and ears bit and sucked on.

“Take it back.” 

“If I said it, I meant it, darling.” Magnus moaned, feeling his hair get tugged. 

“Fine. Then Game on, _darling_.” Alec replied. He forced his way out Magnus’ arms and ran out of the room. Magnus didn’t give chase at first but after Alec threatened his shoes, it was off to the races. 

~

Alec sighed happily as he opened his mouth to let Magnus shovel another forkful of eggs into his mouth. They were watching mid day cartoons on the only couch that hadn’t suffered the fate the others had at the paws of Chairman Meow. They’d made a crap ton of fried eggs with bacon and hash only to find out that there was only one clean plate left. 

Someone had forgotten to press start on the dishwasher. *cough* Magnus *cough*

Neither of them had felt the will to wash the lone fork that was in the sink so they’d simply decided to share the last clean one. It wasn’t like they weren’t swapping spit on the regular anyway. 

Magnus took a bite out of one of the eggs himself and made a face. 

“This isn’t cooked.”

“It’s supposed to runny,” Alec answered easily.

“Yeah the yolk is, but not the whites.” Magnus complained swallowing. 

“Then maybe you should make the eggs next time.” Alec replied rolling his eyes. He took a piece of bacon off the plate, smirking as he heard his boyfriend call him a bitch.

“But you love it.” Alec teased, plopping the greasy piece of meat right into his mouth. “By the way, this bacon isn’t crispy.”

“Maybe you should cook the bacon next time.” Magnus snorted, grabbing a piece for himself. “I like it like this though so maybe you should just, tough it out?”

Alec laughed and shook his head, sitting up to grab the fork. He cut one of fried eyes on the plate in half with the fork, watching the yolk spill out and spread. He picked it up and smiled before shoving it into Magnus’ mouth. 

“Relationships are all about compromises.” Alec chuckled, watching Magnus’ green eyes that decided to go ahead and roll to the back of his head as he made a sour face. 

“... I love you.” Alec whispered. Magnus’ lips pulled into an almost shy smile as he repeated it back. Alec smiled back, biting his lips before finishing off the rest of his bacon. 

“...the bacon isn’t that bad by the way. It's more flavorful this way. Probably.” Alec ceded. 

“I know.” Magnus smirked, putting the plate down on the table. He let his head fall against Alec’s chest.

“The eggs weren’t that bad either. Adds... more texture.” 

Alec rolled his eyes, lightly bumping Magnus off of him.

“What else should we do today?” Alec asked and Magnus tapped his chin. The older man thought the question over for a minute before his eyes lit up along with the rest of his face. 

“We can watch some Disney movies? I can’t rationalize buying Disney+ along with all the other services I have, but I can test Ragnor’s passwords to see if he has it!”

Alec gave his boyfriend a dubious look but didn’t object to the proposal. 

“If it works, we have to watch Emperor’s new groove first. It’s only right.” Alec replied, putting his hands up as if the movie selection was something above both of them and the law. 

Magnus rolled his eyes while he smiled. Magnus stood up and ruffled Alec’s hair before running off to grab his laptop.

~

**THE NEXT DAY**

Alec was mad. Well, not really, just a bit upset. 

He’d been reminding Magnus over and over to pick up some twix ice cream bars throughout the day, yet when he came home, all that was in the freezer was gelato and frozen french toast sticks. 

It was quite the dramatic argument which ended with Alec leaving and slamming the door, trying to keep a smile off his face as Magnus sung out to him some Luciano Pavarotti song.

  
  


The weather was beginning to get warm again as months drew closer to the spring. It was bittersweet for Alec, knowing that the season where warmth was the greatest excuse for sweaters and cuddles. Well, he didn’t really need an excuse for that. 

His phone buzzed in his pocket and Alec pulled it out. 

‘I’m starting dinner soon so hurry back 💓’

‘Back in 5 >:O’ Alec shot back.

The deli was only around the corner so it wouldn’t take him long to get some bars and make it back home. Magnus was a very vibrant and outgoing character so it didn’t surprise Alec when the community was just as colorful as he was. There weren’t that many LGBT people living in the area, but everyone was usually accepting. There were a lot of artists in the community that enjoyed painting the buildings. There were sculptures in the square that memorialized all of the things that were important to the people living in the area. There were designers that Magnus personally went to in order to have his clothes made as well as Alec too on occasion. Farmer markets were up and open on weekdays where Alec swears crack was being put into quesadillas. There was always lively music playing in the streets. 

Alec couldn’t imagine Magnus living anywhere else. 

Alec pushed the door open to the Deli and waved at the owner behind the counter. 

Everyone fit together like a puzzle. They had their own unique patterns but still matched up with the next piece. Everyone except for Alec. 

Alec who wore nothing but black and combat boots. Tall and pale with hair as dark as his humor. He was pushed to force into it, forced to fit whenever he left the apartment. It wasn’t something that really bothered Alec, Magnus was the only person he needed to care about, but still it always felt like he was sucking the life out of the things around him. 

No, he didn’t want to break into a conversation after holding the door open, for waving a short hello. And no, Alec didn’t want you hanging off his arm all to laugh at some corny inside joke.

Maybe it was because he didn’t smile when he wasn’t with Magnus. He was short and blunt with anyone he talked with without it ever being on purpose. Alec had never been a social person but that part was brought out of him when Magnus was around. He wasn’t fake, just didn’t have the battery power to keep up with greetings and smiles without a power source. 

Alec pushed the freezer open to grabbed 4 twix ice cream bars and let his eyes wander the freezer before he picked up some fruit flavored popsicles. Magnus would like those. 

Alec walked up to the counter and placed the frozen treats on the counter before tapping on the glass next to me. 

“Can I get 2 pack of skittles please?” He asked and the man behind the counter nodded at him. 

“A little cold for ice cream, don’t you think?” The owner asked while he scanned the goods. 

“Yeah.” Alec chuckled awkwardly. Was this supposed to turn into a conversation? Was he supposed to explain why he was buying ice cream in barely above freezing weather? Well it was actually like 45 outside, higher than the 32 it’d been last week... was he supposed to talk about that? Did he even need to say that? 

“I-”

“That’ll be 7.27.” 

Alec pursed his lips and pulled his wallet out, grabbing out a 10. 

“You can keep the change.” Alec told the man as he handed the money over and picked up the small black bag.

“Thanks, enjoy your ice cream.” 

“Thanks, you too.” Alec cringed internally the second he heard himself speak and rushed out of the store. Why did he reply like that? Why couldn’t the guy have asked him to enjoy his day? Now all Alec could feel was stupid as he felt his face warm up.

Stupid. It was too cold for ice cream. 

~  
  


Alec was too busy beating himself up to notice the person he was about to stumble into. In fact he didn’t notice until his giant ass all but trampled them like a deranged giraffe. 

“Oh my god I’m sorry I- Izzy?” Alec looked baffled as he saw his sister hiss as she stood up from where she’d fallen. 

“Oh, you remember who I am?” She asked, dusting herself off. “I thought you were too busy with your boyfriend to care about your familia.”

“Izzy…”

“What are you even doing here?” She asked, “is your new job around here?”

“Kind of… I also live here.”

“What? You can afford that?” She asked, genuinely impressed. “Maybe I'm in the wrong profession.” She joked. Isabelle looked her brother’s clothes up and down before shaking her head.

“No, you still dress the same. I prefer my clothes over my house. Let me know when your salary can afford a nice place and clothes without holes.” She laughed, poking her finger into a tear in shirt. Alec pulled his jacket closed while his face turned red. He couldn’t help it, he’d always preferred comfort over looks.

“I’m just kidding, I know you love the whole, vampire grim reaper vibe.”

“What are you doing here?” Alec asked, Covering his face with the back of his hand.  
  


“I’m looking for a cake. You know our parents' anniversary is coming up... You are coming, right?” She asked and Alec couldn’t help but feel weird. 

She was talking to him like normal? Had they just forgotten the fact that he wasn’t with Sebastian anymore? Was she going to try and trap him again?

“...I haven’t talked to them in a while so I’d have to call first…” Alec started, feeling a bit guilty. It wasn’t on purpose. It was slipped his mind. 

“Alec…” Izzy crossed her arms, she was disappointed. 

“Sorry. I have to go right now, but it was good seeing you?” Alec smiled, suddenly remembering his 5 minute promise. He broke into a sprint and turned the corner to the street he lived on and rushed to the apartment, not noticing the white car that would’ve been familiar had he been paying attention.

~

“You’re late~~~” Magnus sang as the door opened. Alec rolled his eyes and took his shoes off by the door. He put the black bag into the freezer and wrapped his arms around Magnus who was facing the stove. The older man jumped and tried to run away while not spilling the sauce he’s been stirring. 

“Oh my god you’re cold! Get off of me!”

“Noooo warm me up.” Alec whined, pulling Magnus in closer and sneaking a hand under the front of his shirt. 

Magnus dropped the spoon cried out when Alec put his cold hand on his chest. 

“You little jerk!” 

Alec laughed as he ran away. “I don’t need you to warm me up anymore, I’ll just go use some hot water.” 

…

After coming out of the shower, Alec found Magnus on the couch, swiping through his phone and sipping on some wine. 2 plates of food sat on the coffee table. A cup was filled with this dark blue drink instantly piqued Alec’s interest. 

“That’s for _after_ dinner, love. You know you can’t finish your food if you drink and eat.” 

“Yeah yeah.” Alec grumbled before crawling into his boyfriend’s lap. Magnus shook his head and pushed Alec back as he put his phone down.

“Nope. You’ve already ruined one couch and carpet. This is brand new.” 

Alec scoffed, but backed off. 

“Sorry for being so messy.” 

“Good. How was your day?” 

Alec picks up his plate and shrugs. 

“It was the same as always… Oh! Lydia’s getting married, she invited me.”

“Oh wow! Good for her! John is such a good man, I can’t wait to steal their kids for the weekend.” Magnus laughed putting his glass down to grab his plate. 

“Would you do the honor of being my plus one?” Alec joked. 

“Of course I would.” Magnus cooed, brining a spoon up to his mouth. 

“I’ve outdone myself, yet again!” Magnus announced triumphantly. 

Alec took a bite himself and nodded his approval. Magnus knew he wouldn’t get anything else out of him until they were finished so he turned on the TV and put on some cartoons. He wasn’t that interested, and Magnus knew the second Alec shut his eyes he was putting some on drag race. 

“Oh.” Alec started, covering his mouth with the back of his hand. “I saw my sister on my way back from the deli.” 

“What? Did she bother you?” Magnus asked, putting his plate down to put a hand on Alec’s shoulder instead.

“No. She acted like nothing had ever happened between us and reminded me to go to our parents’ anniversary.”

Magnus was quiet for a second. 

“What are you thinking right now?” He asked.

Alec put his plate down and turned to face the taller man. 

“I don’t know. I haven’t thought about it in a really long time, but I missed them. I want to meet up with them again but I only want to do it if you come with me. After all that’s happened to me these past few years with Sebastian, you’ve been the most important thing to come out of it. I want to share that with them.”

Magnus smiled and kissed Alec on his forehead. 

“That very sweet of you to say my dear, but family is very important. They’ve raised you, you're going to have to make tough choice for yourself. If they're causing you more harm than good then that's something you would need to consider. Don't take me into consideration either because I would never want to step in between you and your family if they bring you happiness, ok?” 

“...Yeah I want an opportunity to fix things, or at least give them an explanation? I don't want to have everything swept under the rug.” Alec complained. 

“Think over what you want to do and I’ll help you in whatever it is, ok?” Magnus replied, brushing Alec’s bangs out of his face.

“Ok…”

“You know I love you, right?”

“Yeah, I love you too Mags.” Alec smiled.

  
“ _Don’t_ call me that.” Magnus shivered, relaxing back into his chair. He was not going to let Alec get hurt again. No matter what the consequences. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Sugarless_pastelium who picked the right time to send out a comment xD 
> 
> I never check my emails but I was looking for a verification email when the AO3 comment popped up reminding me to upload the chapter lol. I usually just come onto the site to read my comments, but again, sorry for forgetting you guys exist.

**Author's Note:**

> I really hope you liked this, I WROTE THE POEM MYSELF HAHAHA WHO's THE BITCH THAT SAID AN ENGLISH MAJOR WAS A WASTE OF MONEY
> 
> Me. I am bitch. Yet here I am, writing. in English. Soy una mentira sucia.
> 
> I run on pure motivation and ass kicking ( or kissing... You know whichever works) so u-um can I ask for 5 comments for a Sunday second chapter? :3 If not that's whatever (I won't cry outloud) but the next chapter will be out onnnnn Friday. That's equally yummy of an upload date. Though, Thursday is Thanksgiving, I could give ya'll some dessert... I'll just have to see how the turkey comes out that day.


End file.
